Who’s the best player not going to Germany?
As usual, anyone who’s anyone will be playing in this summer’s World Cup Finals …. or will they?
In fact, every time a World Cup is held a few big stars miss out, and Dwight Yorke was often one of them, although, in an ironic twist, now that poor old Dwight moves around the field in such sluggardly fashion the slow-motion replays actually speed him up, he will be leading Trinidad into their first Finals.
So who’s the best player not going to Germany? Who will be jealously watching the action from the beach while no-hopers like Peter Crouch send headers over the bar from point blank range?
Could it be welsh wizard Ryan Giggs, who spends much of his free time wondering what he did to deserve Vinnie Jones as an international team mate? Could it be the Tottenham forward line of Mido and Robbie Keane, who have a right laugh when the Spurs team sheet is read out every week and they’re starting while Jermain Defoe is sitting on the bench, but will now have to spend the summer honing their Sudoku skills while Jermain Defoe … is sitting on the banch? Could it be brilliant Nigerians like Joseph Yobo or Obafemi Martins? Turkish star Hakan Sukur? The Greek hero of Euro 2004, Angelos Charisteas? QPR legend Paul Furlong?
Wrong, wrong and wrong again.
By far the best player who isn’t currently brushing up on where to get the best bratwurst and watching re-runs of Das Boot, is of course, Barcelona’s brilliant Cameroonian forward Samuel Eto’o, who wins the African player of the year award on an annual basis and is a key reason why Barca are the best club side in the world.
What’s that, I hear you say, the ‘Indomitable Lions’ aren’t going to the World Cup? I’m afraid so. The nation that has become synonymous with a) terrible nicknames and b) memorable World Cup campaigns, has not even made it to the Finals.
The central figure in this modern-day Shakespearean tragedy is Pierre Wome, a star defender. In their last qualifier, needing to beat Egypt, Cameroon were handed a 95th minute penalty with the score 1-1. While the likes of Eto’o and skipper Rigobert Song ran for the trainer’s water bottles muttering about groin strains, our man Wome bravely heard his destiny calling and stepped up … and then hit the post. Frailty, thy name is Wome!
So, if you find yourself wondering why the World Cup Finals will not be featuring possibly the best forward currently walking the planet, send your complaints to Pierre Wome c/o the Cameroon Football Federation.
Or just look out for him in your local Pizza Hut - apparently he’s doing a commercial with Gareth Southgate.
[video] This Mascots to Germany!