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I know there are still two games to go but sod it, after last night’s feast, let’s start the argument now. What have been the best games in this World Cup?

I’ll open the debate:

1. Germany 0 Italy 2

Not much doubt about this one. What got into everyone on the Dortmund pitch last night? No diving, cynical fouling, or theatrical rolling around on the floor after tackles, and both teams attacked fearlessly throughout, even in extra-time.

There were superb performances from a host of players (Lehmann, Lahm, Cannavaro, Grosso, Pirlo, Gattuso, Totti), two sensational goals, the best team won without recourse to penalties, and even the referee had a good game(!). Definitely one of the best games I’ve ever seen.

2. Australia 2 Croatia 2

Controversial to have a game from the Group stages this high but this incident-packed clash had everything, principally a superb performance from the Aussies which forced me to do an abrupt about-turn, from wanting them knocked out to cheering wildly when Kewell got their thoroughly deserved equaliser.

Incidentally, while I laughed as much as everyone when that smug git Graham Poll forgot that two yellows equals one red, I think his tabloid roasting was a bit undeserved. Apart from game four in this list (where the ref made a rod for his own back) this match was probably the hardest to ref of the whole tournament, with the Croatians behaving disgracefully, and the Aussies no angels either.

On the whole, Poll did pretty well and contributed to the spectacle, but no, no everything has to be black and white, he made one mistake in the pressure-packed final minutes and therefore must be a moron.

3. Argentina 2 Mexico 1

A breathless start, plenty more quality football afterwards and the goal of the tournament as well.

4. Portugal 1 Holland 0

The second-half was more slapstick comedy show than football match but it was very funny, and the game was highly (melo)dramatic. I felt for the poor old ITV commentator, who was clearly distraught at what the match had descended into. “Oh no (blub), not another yellow card (sob), that’s four sending-offs now (collapses into tortured wailing)!”

5. Argentina 6 Serbia and Montenegro 0

Naturally, having found out I had drawn them in the office sweepstake, the Serbs decided to lie down, but this was still the most exhilarating football of the tournament as Argentina conjured up six superb goals amidst wave after wave of scintillating attacking play.

Honourable mentions: All the Ivory Coast games (they were better than at least three of the quarter-finalists), France-Spain (after a stuttering start the French decide to start playing), Italy-Ghana (first signs that the Italians had a very strong side) and Trinidad-Sweden (Heroic effort from T&T).

I didn’t see the likes of France-Brazil (too depressed after our demise), Italy-USA or Japan-Australia, so apologies if they merited inclusion.

England? The depressing truth is that, save for a couple of decent long-range strikes and a typically defiant performance when the odds were stacked against us, we contributed sod all to a great tournament.

None of our boys will be in the end-of-tournament World XI’s and, far from threatening to crack the above list, I’d have to admit that England-Paraguay and England-Ecuador would be among the top ten worst games of the whole event.

Ukraine-Saudi Arabia was pretty poor but, again, it’s an easy choice for worst game of the World Cup. Insomniacs, get yourselves a video of Ukraine-Switzerland and sleep soundly for evermore. Even the penalties were boring!